My New Trick

Well, I can officially hide things with my belly. 

What can I successfully hide? 

A FREAKING BOWLING BALL!

Seriously, I have a ball back there. 

A 10 lb ball.

You don't believe me, do you?

Told you.

Then I forced two of our FCCLA boys to take this little gem entitled 

"One of these things is not like the  other"

What good sports they were! 

Just the Friday fun I needed! 

Well...that crept up on me

Apparently I am in full pregnancy mode. I'm not sure when it happened- but it's taken over my life.

Some signs: 

#1: My daily supplements. 

In case you were wondering- 

Alfalfa: to reduce bleeding during birth and for about 1 million other reasons. Here's an article: clearly it is peer reviewed and scientific...OR it was the first website I googled because I am lazy. http://wellnessmama.com/188/herb-profile-alfalfa/

Pre-natal: I've been taking that one for years now. Plenty of vitamin D and Folic acid in this bad boy. I bought the most expensive one...back BEFORE insurance decided to ruin my life this year.

Red Raspberry Leaf (both tea and pill form)- to reduce nausea, leg cramping, and sleeping issues. It is also supposed to strengthen my uterus/pelvic muscles and make contractions more efficient. Here's what that same lady says about it (she must have some sort of deal with google- she ALWAYS pops up first) http://wellnessmama.com/5107/herb-profileraspberry-leaf/

So, here is what I take 3 times a day (minus the prenatal, which is only once a day). 

Those round alfalfa ones are NASTY. 

They smell AND taste like eating a tea bag. 

Not drinking...eating.

I don't like tea. 

And they aren't in capsules- so if you don't take them just right they IMMEDIATELY start dissolving in your mouth.

It's a good thing I like Eli.

#2- My Friday Nights

I had a bad Thursday/ Friday night (again- insurance is trying to ruin my life), so I told Rico that I wanted a picnic in front of the fire...with peanut butter and jelly (this isn't something I normally get to eat- especially with the naughty peanut butter instead of almond butter), and fancy drinks. 

Shockingly- I had a safe sex on the beach...WHAT?! WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED?! 

Rico had one of his extra hoppy IPA's that I bought him for Christmas. 

After lots of chatting- and a video of our niece saying our names that we watched over 50 times (No- really) were both in better moods...until I realized that laying on the floor for over an hour while pregnant was NOT my best idea. 

Then it got REALLY crazy. We cleaned the blinds in the office, and painted the trim/molding. Then I finally showered for the day. Then I went to bed.

Living the dream baby. Living the dream.

#3 My "workouts"

So, everyday I have a list of "exercises" I need to do to help get me ready for labor. 

They are VERY different from the high intensity workouts/ lifting I was doing a year ago today. 

The walking...that's easy. I just pack workout clothes for work and take to the hallways before I head home. 

One day I got to actually walk around our lake like a normal human being. Yes, the lake is still frozen- but it was 58 degrees on my walk (until 3 hours later when it was snowing again)

Some of the other moves are a little less easy to remember to do- but I've managed to fit them into my daily routine.

Here I'm "tailor sitting" (to help stretch my hips/ thighs for labor...and possibly reduce the risk of varicose veins) while I dry my hair. 

I also do my kegals at this point (to help with stronger pushing in labor, and to reduce the risk of tearing)...gosh, don't you LOVE being over-informed?!

 Rico said this was his "artistic shot" 

I hold a squatting position (to stretch...well we'll just say, "things" to reduce tearing during labor) everyday for a few minutes as I pet Max when I get home. It's win-win.

#4 A New Line of Questioning

People no longer ask me "When are you due?"

NOW they say, "How much time do you have left?"

JUST today I was asked: 

"Are you tired?" (to be fair, I was fiddling with my belt and making a very exasperated face as I was trying to get it to not fall off me)

"So, Mrs. Brown, who is going to be our new teacher when you have the baby?"

"When are you going to take your leave?Are you working until you pop?"

"Are you super uncomfortable yet?" (me: "Not yet, thankfully) 

"Well you WILL be"

And then the BEST ONE: a freshman boy, "So- how far apart are your contractions?"

Yes. He ACTUALLY asked me that. 

When did that happen?

Maybe when my profile started looking like this.

Max is Cute

Can we just take a moment to appreciate how adorable my dog is? 

 I was laying down and he came on over and propped right on up against the bump.

I hope they are BFF's like this when Eli comes out to play. 

Free Time

Between MLK Jr. day and a canceled birthing class...I had a little extra time on my hands. 

I made some bow-ties that I can snap onto onsies for little Eli.
As he gets older, I can just snap these ties onto the bigger onsie sizes.
For the record: Rico's reaction each time I show him a new one is to roll his eyes.

We watched "The Happiest Baby on the Block" our minds were BLOWN. We looked at each other and decided that we needed a crying infant IMMEDIATELY.

Well, we're short on those (for now), so instead we decided to try 4 of the 5 s's on Maximus. 

Ladies and gentlemen: Swaddling, side, shhhh-ing, and swinging. 

We opted out of "sucking", for obvious reasons.

We also called a doula.
Rico found her...I realize that's not normal.
Here's how it went down (e-mail style):

"I don’t know if I’m over stepping anything here….but I found our Doula. After reading many bios, I’ve settled on this one.

I do understand that you’ll want to look and find the right fit for you. The reasons I picked her.

-The first picture on her site is her family instead of a bunch of ladies without shirts on."

(insert a long list of other, more valid reasons that I won't bore you with)

                      "Boom. Feel free to look around, but remember….I’m the situationalist."

THANK YOU RICO! I hate making decisions. 

AND...he IS the ultimate situationalist.

So, our first interview with a doula is in the making. 

We talked on the phone first- she said we didn't sound creepy- so that's a good sign. 

What a productive night last 2 days!

Pump it Up

I've been emailing co-workers (and making Rico do the same even though he first tried to say he was NOT going to ask his co-worker about a pump because that was "awkward and too personal"- eventually he caved and took his first sacrifice of pride for the baby. Nicely done babe.)

I called my insurance company way back over Thanksgiving break and got a list of providers they covered. 

I googled said providers. 

I got overwhelmed (people- just have a website and put information on it! Please.) and quit the entire process until today. Yes, almost 3 months later.

I called said providers.

Clearly, in channeling my inner Rory Gilmore, I made pro/con lists for each company.

Here's what I've learned...besides the boring stuff

There are some companies that ONLY sell 1 model, and it is a manual model. Really?

Only 3 companies sell the model I want.

Lenexa is apparently the holy ground for all medical supply companies.  

When you can get women free* breast pumps- you can have WHATEVER hours you want. 

4 days a week- why not?

Only open till 4 so no one that works can get to you? Sure!

You can NOT plan ahead and get a breast pump. You are NOT allowed to order one in January when you aren't due until April. 

In fact, it was borderline selfish for you to ask such a question.

Clearly in wanting to get yours taken care of early you are REALLY just trying to rip a breast pump out of the hands of a mother who goes into labor early and didn't already order a pump. 

You are rude, and you lose mom points. 

Oops. 

Temperament

In my Parenting classes yesterday we talked about nature vs nurture and temperament. We discussed how there may be a genetic factor in temperament because we find that even infants display those natural tendencies. They figured out their temperaments and shared stories about how they knew (mainly because I like to see what I'm working with so I can adjust my teaching- but with the added bonus of the HILARIOUS stories that always come from the "difficult" temperament groups)

Without fail, every class asked: "What do you think Eli is?"

"If I had to guess, I would say "easy" because he tends to wake up and have a kicking party at right about 9pm and right about 5:30 every morning regardless of what I am doing.... But that could just be wishful thinking"  (both Rico and I were somewhere between "easy" and "slow to warm up" babies- so it would be an easy match)

Here's a video of a little kick. (You'll see me inhale and then right above my bellybutton you'll see him kick)

Last night, Eli was rumbling around (yes, rumbling, not kicking) and I looked up at the clock: 9:07.

This morning I was woken up by him and I looked at the clock and laughed- 5:35.

Dearest son: you are awesome- and I love that you are reinforcing a point I made in class, but it is Saturday. Saturdays are for sleeping in.

Oh- wait, babies don't care about weekends? Well, that sucks.

...and on an unrelated note: here's a pregnancy profile update. We were headed to our Bradley class- and this time I DIDN'T wear a dress- as that can make practicing squatting in a room of new acquaintances pretty awwwwwk-ward.

Lesson learned.

Belly in the Buff

Fair warning: you are about to see the belly in the buff. 

I spent the weekend snuggling with the men in my life. 

Max had his first official kick to the face from Eli 

(he's kicked Max MANY times, but this is the first time it actually startled Max)

Eli saves his best kicks for bedtime, where Rico gets to feel. It's our nightly routine to feel a few kicks together before Rico forces me lets me go to sleep at my pregnancy bed-time while he stays up late with all the real adults of the world. 

100% honesty, this was actually taken in the morning. 

When I wake up before Rico on the weekends I make let him feel Eli move in the hopes that it will wake him up and I can't technically be blamed. 

4th Meal

Can you still call it "4th meal" when it's your 4th dinner? 

I think you can.

Can I Register for Someone to Register FOR Me?

Can I just say, for the record, that registering for a baby is VERY humbling. I’m an educated woman. I just got my master’s degree. In fact, most of my (undergraduate) education was based around child development. I have people come to ME for advice. 

Granted- they are teenagers- but they want MY advice.

And yet, registering for our baby made me feel like an absolute idiot.

As in, I almost cried. 

I almost cried each and every time.

I was overwhelmed to say the least.

I can't say I wasn't warned. EVERY other person I have ever talked to had prepared me that this was not "fun". 

Opening gifts, obviously, is fun. 

Trying to choose what to register for- NOT fun. This is especially true when you are 3 things I am 

#1- a "type a" perfectionist who wants to be super efficient and only pick the perfect things

#2- a person who is not good at making decisions. (It takes me about 15 minutes just to pick out candy for a movie)

#3- Mildly hippie. They just don't have some of the things I want in most stores. (ex: a cloth diaper sprayer attachment)

We made the mistake of starting at the biggest baby store we could think of- Buy Buy Baby. It's Bed Bath and Beyond's 100% baby store. You know BB&B, the one with 12 foot high displays filled all the way to the ceiling with more choices than any person could ever need. It's too much.

It took 3 hours.

3. 

Whole. 

Hours.

Rico kept looking at me to tell him which of the 1 zillion pacifiers to scan. Do we even want any? If so, which ones? 

Heck if I know.

He looked to me again as we got to the bottles. Which brand? Which style? How many do we get?

I shrugged.

Then we got to the “activity” section. Here’s the problem- there were 17 variations of places to put your child for those times you might not be holding them.

Some of them sang songs.

Some bounced.

Some let you rock the baby.

Some rocked the baby automatically.

Some vibrated.

Some swang.

Some swang in ALL directions.

NONE of them were in my arms- so as far as I could tell- they were ALL over priced and I felt guilty for scanning any of them, much less trying to guess which features our baby might care about. 

Another major issue- I don't want to use most of these things. 

I WANT to breastfeed and rarely pump

  ...but eventually I will go back to work part-time and will need to pump.

I WANT to not use pacifiers

   ...but I feel like EVERY new mom says that and eventually finds a healthy way to incorporate them.

I WANT to wear my baby and not have to use a lot of contraptions.

  ...but what about night time? What about when I am in the shower and Erik's at work? 

 I WANT to use cloth diapers

  ...but how do I register for those when the only store that does sell them (Buy Buy Baby) only sells the brand that you can't dry in the dryer? 

I think you get it. So, add this inner conflict to my feelings of overwhelming choices and you can start to get in my mind-set. Oh, all that AND the fact that there isn't even a Buy Buy Baby in Wichita- so I'm not sure anyone would ever even look at this registry or be able to buy these things.

Finally, toward the end of our trip, we got to the strollers and car seats. I couldn’t do it any more. I am a woman who usually feels very informed. I am used to being the person in the room who knows the most (as most teachers are.) I couldn’t handle this uncertainty and second guessing any more. 

I looked at Rico and just said, “I can’t.”

He hugged me and I mumbled into his hoodie, 

“Buy Buy Baby beat me." 

"It wins.” 

Thankfully- we found a batman super-hero onsie kit (WITH CAPE) before leaving. That managed to perk us both up. 

Then- I got smart. 

I called in the reinforcements- my sister. 

She took the time to go with me to Babies R Us while I was back in town. 

Cue the sounds of angels singing from heaven. 

She cuts the crap. She tells me what's up. 

Get this brand of breast milk storage bags- "They're bigger, you get twice as many, and they are half the price"

"Don't get those- they're stupid."

"Here's something I didn't figure out until 6 months in...your pump will work with almost ANY bottle- no need to buy the same brand as the pump"

"Don't get these here- they are way cheaper at Target"

"Some of my friends like this brand because ______, but others swear by this brand because ______"

You know- the stuff the box doesn't tell you. 

Confidence re-built! I could do Target- that would be easy! Only 4 aisles, limited choices, and the prices wouldn't make me feel guilty every time I scanned an item. 

I was right...and wrong. It certainly WASN'T overwhelming- in fact, it was underwhelming. 

1- They were out of nearly everything. Literally, whole sections of empty hangers. 

2- Of the things they actually HAD on the shelf, we couldn't scan them because they were ALL on clearance. 

You've never seen a brain so confused. A red sticker should make my heart sing- but they specifically told us (3 ACTUAL times) NOT to scan any clearance items. 

It was VERY frustrating.

3- If you are having a boy you might as well throw your hands up. (unless gray matches your nursery, in which case you'll be ok) . Everything either had monkeys/animals, some little label about being "mom's so and so" or "daddy's _____", or a sports reference. I'm not a fan of any of these things. Obviously, there are exceptions, but in general- bleh. I couldn't even find SOCKS that were simple.

Oh, and then the scanner died. 

So...I'm taking a break. I'll try again closer to an ACTUAL baby shower- maybe then there will be actual items we can scan. Maybe then I will be able to have a healthier attitude about this whole situation. 

Until then- this is how I feel about registering.

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

How I spent my Christmas vacation...

Christmas
duh, I already talked about that.

A visit from my mom
 2 days spent shopping...where I found THIS chair. It rocks (in all ways). Look how little it is!
Just 24 hours earlier I had declared: "No more owls- we have reached owl capacity"
Eh- add it to the list of things I've been wrong about.

playing You Don't Know Jack on x-box,

Wife and Mother-in-Law take over Rico's x-box to play trivia all night. I would like you all to know that I dominated. 

and taking her on a tour of our Birth Center

Working on the nursery

We set up a nursing chair, Rico built the lamp his mom bought us for Christmas (it dims with a foot pedal- should be VERY handy for late night feedings), and....

I FINALLY made some of the wall art I've been meaning to make since I bought the frames  before we were even pregnant. Tiny boy and girl hedgehogs. Come on!

Celebrating the New Year
...pregnant-style, thanks to my (self-proclaimed) "Mocktologist" husband and Oklahoma Joes. He calls this the "Safe Sex on the Beach"
I've had 6 in the past 2 days.
They are DELICIOUS.

Yes, our tree is still up. It sparkles and I like it. So, there.

Safe Sex on the Beach Recipe 
(In Rico's words): 
Peach Juice (Trader Joes)- "just a little"
Orange Juice- "a little more"
Cranberry juice- "the same amount as the orange juice"
Optional- but fun for presentation:
Grenadine- a splash
Maraschino Cherry (or 3 if you are my husband)

Our friend Jess joined us to ring in 2014- and I FINALLY got to give her the present we found for her this summer....a Smores Maker! Look at those mallows roasting!

Unfortunately, I only had mini-marshmallows (I don't like marshmallows), a Hershey bar that had melted and re-hardened in a mystery shape (from this summer- when it WASN'T like Antarctica outside), and some Graham crackers with a questionable expiration date. 

As you can tell, smores (and smores ingredients) do not float my boat.

The good news is- the smores can ONLY get better from here.

Speaking of what can only get better from here...I spent the last hour of 2013 puking my guts out. It was like a cartoon. 

I mean, really, it was quite impressive. 

We're pretty sure I got it from my mom- but I ALSO ate a LOT of sugar that night. 

You saw the drink recipe- but I neglected to mention that we busted open the "sin box"-our box of candy that we hide from ourselves. You have to go through a bit of a process to open it, so it makes you think twice before chowing down. 

Yeah....my body can't binge like it once could. Pregnancy aside- I just haven't eaten like that in, well, exactly a year ago when I got started with the healthy eating. 

My 100% sober New Years Eve ended with puking, a peck from the hubs (to avoid possible puke breath), and going to bed at 12:02 with a bowl next to my bed in case I couldn't make it to the toilet. 

We spent New Years Day sleeping in (I'm not sued to being up past 9 pm) and thrifting: 

50% off at Red Racks and City Thrifts! 

I got a coat (as the buttons on my coat are barely hanging in there as my belly grows) and some maternity tops/dresses while Eli got...

Some adorable clothes. A "dad shirt" (what Rico calls all plaid shirts) to match his dad, 

an Adidas zip-up to match his grandparents (Rico's parents both have black Adidas jackets like that), 

and a swimming top to go with the tiniest cutest swim trunks his grandma Brown got him for Christmas.  

The other two onsies were just too cute (and cheap- 50 cents!) to pass up. 

I came home and took a 3 hour nap.
Because I can: that's why.

Rico and I had dinner in, we snuggled with an extra needy Max, and we played some "heads up" while he drank wine and I drank....yes, another Safe Sex on the Beach.
Tomorrow we both go back to work.
I'll be "working from home" as I get together my blockout for next semester's classes and then I am officially required back at school on Friday.

A great break.
A great break, indeed.