Milestones

1- Stupid Pacifier

Rico has had a countdown going until 6 weeks. 

Why? 

Not what you would think….dirrrty minds!

I told him that was when I would let him introduce a pacifier.

I, being me, obviously wanted to never use one, but I am only half of this parenting team (and the other half doesn't have boobs that can make Eli quiet and calm…so he has it rough when he tries to soothe him). 

Rico had a great point too- when he is SCREAMING in the car (where I can't breastfeed him), and ssshing, massage, toys and every other technique we've tried haven't worked- a pacifier would be a nice way to help us feel like we weren't torturing our child by staring at him screaming his lungs out. The goal is to only use it when my boobs are literally NOT an option. 

We'll see how long that lasts.

 Here's how it went. 

We went to Target and got him one that would fit his mouth better. He still spit it out, but he kept it in long enough to make him go to sleep.

2- Smiling

Eli has started to give ACTUAL reactions to things and people around him. 

Thank goodness, the "disappointed parent" look was getting old. 

Yes, that was his go-to look. 

Sometimes it was "confused disappointed parent" or "tired disappointed parent", but never happy.

3- Mommy's first unnecessary pediatricians visit.

All new moms do it- so I don't have to feel ashamed.

His breathing is rattly and flemmy during the night. When it started happening in the day, I decided to bring Eli in during walk-in hours. (and maaaaaybe I had a list on my phone of other things I wanted to check to be sure they were normal)

Nothing is wrong, duh, but now I feel better.

AND, added bonus, they didn't act like I was crazy.

4- The Moby

I thank God for this baby holding creation. 

You think I am just saying that- no, I literally have stopped and devoted an entire prayer thanking God for whoever He had create this.

He hates getting in it.

He hates getting out of it.

BUT, within 1 minute of being in- he is OUT. 

That means mommy can eat.

Or go to the bathroom (although this is tricky)

Or walk somewhere (like the pediatrician's office) without lugging a heavy/awkward carseat

Or grocery shop.

Or think (without a baby crying)

Plus, he's so darn cute and I can kiss his little head so easy!

5- Cloth Diapers

6 weeks was also the suggested time frame for starting cloth diapers. Because I am a master procrastinator, I hadn't washed ANY of the diapers we had gotten- so I started by stripping them all (a process where you strip off any detergent build up that might keep them from being as efficient)

That was…well, confusing. Trying to match which stuffer went with which diaper proved to be a challenge. BUT I did it, and now I *should* know from now on.

I decided to start with our more well loved diapers. If I was going to mess up, I wanted it to be with ones I wouldn't feel bad about. Here's his first cloth diaper:

Rico's reaction: "that can't be right- they take up half his body" I reminded him that we bought "one-size" diapers to fit Eli all the way through potty training. So, yes, they are going to be big when he is still a newborn.

So far, so good. 

Fewer bow-outs than we were having with disposables, so that's nice.

6- Pumping

Pumping is the LEAST attractive thing I have ever done (at least in daily life.)

Maybe uglier than birth- at least birth is miraculous and fascinating (and I think beautiful)

Also, when the heck am I supposed to do it?

Eli wants all I have to offer. 

I feed him AT LEAST every 2 hours, for about 45 minutes, meaning I am not nursing for about an hour. No time for more milk to be made and then pumped, and then made again for his next meal.

I just need enough for 2 and a half days (back to work to give finals).

After a week and a half, I have 1 days worth.

uh oh. 

No pics of pumping-I try not to even look when I do it.

I WILL say, it is pretty cool to see that my body can create that. When Eli eats, I just assume he's getting something, but seeing it is kind of cool.

7- 1 month Old!
I took this picture:

but decided that he didn't look very cute (I can say that, I am his mom, but don't you DARE agree…out loud)
So I put together an impromptu photo shoot.
I used all those tricks-
A space heater so he would be warm
I fed him so he would be milk-drunk
I used a dog bed under the blanket (a lazy mom's substitution for a bean bag)
and I had towels on my lap in case he peed.
THIS was the end result:

Cute, right?
What you DON'T see in this picture are the 27 other photos where he is falling off the books…or screaming.
You ALSO don't see that mommy was trying so hard to keep him happy that she forgot to put the towel back on her lap

I felt the warmth and went along…I've been peed on before, no big deal.
Then I felt the rumble.
I have officially been shat upon.
Mark it in the baby book.

Milk Machine

Feeling a bit used.

I am a milk machine.

If I am not feeding him, I am pumping (then cleaning from pumping )

Places I have breastfed:

In bed

In the nursing chair

Panera

Sitting on the nursery floor

In the living room (on the couch and on the floor)

At the birth center (lobby and back room)

At his pediatrician's office

In the hallway of a "medical plaza"

At infant massage class

In SO many parking lots

In the school nurse's office triage room (I think that is what it was)

At his grandparents, great aunts, and great grandparent's house

Garage saling (literally, while walking around with my mother in law)

Walking through a property (we are looking to buy a house back home)

In Starbucks…lots of times in Starbucks (The irony of this one- I don't drink coffee, and I am pretty sure Eli is anti-caffeine based on his reactions to me binging on chocolate. Don't get me started on my feelings about this)

And then- there was RibCrib. We only eat at casual/loud places where a crying baby might not be that big of a deal. Well, he DEMANDED to eat (even though I had just fed him for 20 minutes in the car before hand while they ordered for me). So, I admitted defeat and thought I might have to give up and finally feed him in a bathroom.

Gross.

I went in , got him latched on and after a half second of considering sitting on a toilet, I leaned against the sink and let him go for it

Then a lady came in to pee.

That's just awkward for everyone.

So I went in the hall outside the bathroom and asked a man if he could bring me a chair.

A waitress overheard this and BLESS HER HEART came over and told me that they were closing down the section of booths by the bathroom and that I was more than welcome to sit there. She told me about her sister (or sister in Law?) who was a champion for breastfeeding.

Thank you sister (or sister in law )

I had a little breakdown this past weekend over it.

He had eaten and then gone to  sleep. We got food, I set the table, and then as soon as I was ready to sit down to eat, he woke up to eat. 

I just started crying. 

I wanted to be included.

While breastfeeding can be amazing for bonding with your baby, it can also be very isolating.

Always excusing yourself to feed the baby.

I'm even pretty public about it, so you would think I would have a better experience.
It's been a challenge for me.
Just being real.

Lest you think I'm all negative Nelly over here, let me show you some cute pictures from our trip home this weekend:
The car ride home…it went better than expected given his recent HATRED for the car. We are pretty sure we were squishing him, because we moved the shoulder straps up and he was pretty darn good the whole drive.
I felt so bad for not fixing it earlier. Poor guy.

 It was our hometown's city-wide garage sale day. Grandma Jaye had already taken FULL advantage over her lunch breaks and got this FREAKING AWESOME dinosaur book for the grandkids.
There are pop-ups on every page.
Rico was SO excited about this book.
You can see how Eli felt- he'll get it later.

We buy anything dinosaur for our friend Maggie- she's a geologist (I use "she's a geologist like you would use a last name because I think it is hilarious and awesome that my friend is a geologist. She lived abroad and studied a volcano- so, yeah, she's legit)

Maggie, I know you are reading this, I had an idea on my walk (and if I stand up to get my phone to text you, Eli will wake up)
Whenever you come visit we should say that you bring a PET DINOSAUR.
We can even leave tracks in the dirt when the boys get older.
Whenever you leave, we can say it is because you have to feed your dinosaur.
The kids can't see him though- that would be WAAAY to dangerous.

Here he is in one of his new favorite ways to be held: over the shoulder, with Nana (my mom)

So. Stinking. Cute.

Mother's Day

I woke up, on my very first mother's day as a mom to this card "from Eli"

I asked Rico what this was about (we don't buy cards), and I was informed that it wasn't from him, it was from Eli.

Rico insists that it was really signed by Eli, because "His hand was gripping the end of the pen the whole time" 

So, thanks Eli!

If I ever wondered what my love language is- I could just look at my Mother's Day wish list:

1- figure out how to make a mobile for the birds I sewed this winter.  

For the last 5 months I couldn't even fathom where to start, and the Pinterest directions went from detailed instructions (how to sew the birds- in 10 steps, with templates) to "hang the birds on branches".

Super helpful.

Buuuut... He did it. And it looks amazing!

2- I don't want to cook- all day

except for this guy…obviously I will feed him since I'm the only chef that can make his meals right now.

3- Detail my car

4- Some sort of event (I chose between a Tiger rescue or a walk around a big lake across town)

We ended up with the walk, since the tigers are a 45 minute drive away and Eli isn't into car rides right now.

I am putting that gently

5- A bubble bath

hopefully while Eli sleeps

6- Basically be my bitch all day. 

Meaning I got to add things in all day…like squeezing my husband's blackheads- or not changing any diapers…"because it's mothers day!"

I'm not a present kind of gal. 

I want your time

 I want acts of service

I want some words of affirmation

- not that I would turn down diamond earrings should they appear.

We also wanted to make sure to celebrate OUR amazing mothers- 

What did we get OUR mommies? 

Just 2 of their favorite things

Their grandbabies…

made into charm necklaces.

(the bows are just part of the wrapping, don't worry) 

I tried to wait for his neworn pics to come in, but missed it by a day. A cell phone picture from his first bath will have to do!

Since there was a supply issue that meant going back and re-designing the jewelry, the necklaces wouldn't arrive by mothers day.

 I felt awful.

To make sure we could recognize them on mother's day, I came up with (what I thought was) a simple idea:

A picture from Eli with a mother's day message for them.

Well, I should have known that I can't just make a simple message. I ended up crafting with scrabble tiles and cutting paper and un-hemming pants so Eli could wear just the right outfit. 

So, 2 hours, and 26 pictures later I called it good. 

First he was awkward (This was Rico's favorite shot, "because he looks like an old man with his hands in his pockets" He DOES bear a slight resemblance to the old man in "Up")

Then he was disgusted by the idea.

Then he was ANGRY at the idea.

Actually, he was angry a lot.

So we finally settled on him being bored with the idea

Happy mother's day to all the mommies out there, from my son, who is apparently in training to become Lurch.

MY Little Lurch.

On My Own...

Week 1- Rico was with me

Week 2- My mom was with me

Week 3- My mother in law was with me

Those 3 weeks were so VERY, very helpful. 

But then, week 4, it was just Eli and I. 

I was intimidated.

My FIRST day without helping hands was…

Well,

 it WASN'T good.

Let's be honest.

It was bad.

Remember this book?

It was like that.

It started rough, it continued to be rough, and even after Rico came home, it ended rough.

Rico even took his temperature, worried that he might be sick.

I kid you not- 

He pooped/ peed through 4 outfits. FOUR! by noon

He cried nearly the entire time. Not fussy: WAILING.
See?

He took 1 nap. ONE 1 fifteen minute nap (he had been sleeping nearly all afternoon in the previous weeks)
At one point he kicked me in the eye. I was kicked in the eye! Apparently my song was not to his liking.

He demanded to eat almost the entire time. Literally.

He let me have a shower…but I didn't get to dry my hair until 6 hours later.
At one point I lost my phone for a few hours. Thankfully, my mother-in-law called. I heard my muffled ring and eventually found my phone…in Eli's laundry hamper.

I leaked milk on EVERYTHING.
Why you might ask…well because Eli has a new trick.
He now randomly LURCHES his head back mid-feed- trying to take my nipple with him.
Then, he wriggles until he unlatches- where he resumes screaming- like I did it to him.
Then, he tries to re latch without really opening his mouth (presumably because it is a slippery mess)
It's lose lose.
If we count my nipple, it's lose-lose-lose

All this AND we had a house showing that night, so I needed to get the house ready.
I gave up and asked Rico to come home early to help clean the house.

We went to dinner and then got a calling that ANOTHER couple wanted to look at the house, so we drove over to our neighborhood clubhouse.
Being outside helped SO much.

 Well, that AND the fact that my husband is a "situationalist" and always seems to know JUST what to do to soothe Eli.

Tomorrow would be better…it HAD to be better.
My friends remind me when I forget-
every day in parenting is a new day, and as one put it:
"and thank God for that!"

Spoiler alert- I am writing this around noon of day 2 where I have ALREADY…
showered (AND dried my hair),
put on REAL clothes (not a tank top drenched in milk and sweatpants)
 taken a beautiful lakeside walk,

That's the clubhouse from yesterday in the background

 

finished 2 loads of laundry,
made AND ate lunch,
used the monitor as he NAPPED in his CRIB for an HOUR,

uploaded/printed his newborn pictures
and blogged.
All by 1pm.

Boom baby.

Also…he has only pooped through ONE outfit…and the blanket he was in.
Hey, the kid ate a lot, he's allowed.

Doing so Little never Felt LIke so MUCH

Life has slowed down substantially. My to-do list on a typical day is 

-feed Eli (multiply this by 1 million, as it is pretty much all I do all day)

-Burp Eli

-Dress Eli

-Change Eli's diapers

-Shower

-Go to the bathroom

-Eat lunch

-Run 1 errand while Eli screams in the car (off and on)

These things look simple- and yet they literally take up my ENTIRE day. 

It doesn't FEEL slow, but when I get excited about accomplishing something, I look at that list and think…WOW, that does not sound NEARLY as impressive as it feels.

Life is different. 

Like Friday nights.

I spent this Friday night on the couch, feeding my child as he went through one of his marathon eating sessions. 

I forgot to eat dinner.

We were under NO illusion that we were going to do anything that night. 

Our "big plans" were to watch a Nw Girl episode we had recorded.

We forgot to do that too.

This kid- he is powerful.

We also started adding floor and tummy time to the mix before bed. 

 He tries his best- and lasts about a minute before he starts fussing too much.

I also spend lots of time taking multiple pictures of him when he does ANYTHING or wears ANYTHING I find to be remotely picture-worthy. Like when he reenacted awkward senior photo poses for me.

When I say that changing diapers is on my to-do list each day, I should be more honest. Rico is the primary diaper changer. In the first week of Eli's life I changed 1.5 diapers (I helped with one).

I've really upped my diaper count since then- especially this last week. 

Eli gives me PLENTY of opportunities to practice. 

Yesterday, he pooped 

THROUGH his diaper

THROUGH his onsie

and ONTO my jeans.

Crap.

(ha)

I decided that since I had to change him anyway, I was going to at least enjoy it. So I changed him into this get-up. 

Since the weekend came, we've spent a lot of time napping. A LOT of time.

Pediatrician Visit

He's gaining inches and ounces each week. 

He's 2 1/2 weeks old.

His umbilical cord fell off…we have NO idea where though. 

We think the dog may have eaten it.

Gross, I know.

 Now he's 21 inches and 8 lbs 15 oz.

That's a WHOLE pound more than last time.
He ALSO passed his hearing test. Finally. (after testing on 4 different days)

And he melts my heart…even just laying on the pediatrician's table…waiting…naked…and cold

aaaaaand hungry. Check out this hard core rooting.

 We also decided to take a selfie...

It was a long wait.

 We got bored, so we played a little dress up with some of the things in my bag.

These are the sunglasses our seniors got at prom last year. 

On the side they said #celebratesober.

This makes them even more awesome.

What a stud.