Paintball in CAVES?!

Today, the love of my life informed me that NOT ONLY is there paintball in the caves of Kansas City, there is now also laser tag.

Seriously? You tell me this now? 

NOW?

I am OBSESSED with the caves. I even made Rico take me in to the parking garage of the offices of the one of the companies he works with because I just COULDN'T picture how you would have offices IN A CAVE. 

I have ALSO been begging him, for YEARS to take me paint balling. YEARS. He refuses.

I ALSO secretly love laser tag. 

And now, now that I can't do ANY of those things AND WE ARE MOVING- he shares this nugget of information. 

I didn't talk to him for 3 minutes. 

I felt like I needed to share this with you all- I don't know why.

Other tidbits: here's 38 weeks. 

You should know that this is the same shirt I wore on my 21st birthday (AND the first time I met my now brother in law)

So, at 38 weeks I add Evening Primrose Oil to my supplements. I OFFICIALLY reached the point where I can't fit all the pills I need to take into my pill holder. Here's my morning regimen.

3 alfalfa, 2 probiotics, 1 garlic, 1 prenatal, 1 red raspberry leaf. 

 If THAT wasn't enough high maintenance-ness…my chiropractor ALSO put this on my lower back.
I feel very athletic.

We also set up our rock-n-play…with some minor adaptations (I switched the stars that are supposed to hang with some woodland creatures that my mother in law had given us)

We ALSO got to babysit our niece for an afternoon since she was in town. 

We went to the park, went to Unforked, "played" the piano, played with the dog, and we basically let her tell us what she needed. 

She even requested the dog when my sister told her we were coming. 

She told us anythign and everything we may have needed to know. 

She's so. freaking. smart.

Literally, she told us "potty" when she needed to go to the bathroom.

She said "bite" and started getting into the highchair on her own at EXACTLY 11 o clock when her mom had said she might want lunch.

She looked at us and said "nap" before heading toward the stairs on her own to go up to bed at noon (AGAIN, almost exactly to the minute of when her mom said she would want it)

Then, she said "diaper" (and HANDED me one when I wasn't understanding what she wanted) when she wanted changed before her nap.  

Rico got a guitar out and she requested a "song" from him anytime he stopped playing her to sleep.

Seriously- she couldn't make it much easier.

It was awesome. 

As usual.

It was also tiring, as usual.

The last random update is NOT glamorous. 

We bought these this weekend at Target.

Yep, basically a human puppy pad. 

They've been recommended to us to keep in the car and under our sheets for when my water breaks. 

Carrying THAT around the store was not my shining moment. 

38 weeks

Today…today I am officially 38 weeks pregnant.

I wore nude heels and naked legs to celebrate.

(There is no relation between these things- except in my mind. Don't be confused.)

What made it real….like REAL real was that we realized that the last baby Rico held was this old- and he was in the real world.

Like, you could touch him.

Like, you could hold him.

Like, you could kiss his little adorable cheeks.

AND HE WAS THIS OLD!

In related news, his appointment this week went well. 

My blood pressure is good. 

Eli's still head down. 

His heart rate is awesome.

And- best news- I am strep B Negative (the last thing that would have made me have to have an iv put in…unless I get dehydrated)

I don't have any numbers for you…I won't unless I go past 40 weeks

. 

Why? Welll, that's kind of the magical question. 

Basically, in any test/ decision "they" (Bradley class) encourages us to ask

1) What are the risks?

2) How reliable is it?

and my favorite...

3) What will I do with the information?

1) So, as far as risk, not a lot. It's certainly not my idea of a good time though. 

2) How reliable…well, that depends on the person/people doing it. I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone get a check by 1 person to get one number, and then get checked by someone else only to get another number (both effacement and dilation)

3) So- let's say I am told I am a 4. (and let's assume this is 100% accurate)

Now what? 

This tells me very little about when I might actually have a baby. 

I could be at a 4 and have a baby the next day- OR I could walk around for days on a 4.

I would just be on high alert and feel like my labor was going too slowly. 

No thanks. 

I'm too anal for that. 

So- no numbers until I go over 40 weeks or I think I am in labor. 

I CAN tell you that I haven't been having any signs of labor…just "lookin' good feelin' good" 

In my midwife's words, "Almost TOO good"

Awww schucks.

Also in my midwife's words, 

"It's official, you are definitely having a baby within the next month" 

Ah- midwife jokes. 

Nesting

Yes, it has begun.

Rico and I have both done our first loads of teenie tiny laundry. With soap that does NOT have a teenie tiny price. 

Whoa.

I had a work baby shower and got even more amazing presents. It was awesome.

This floral arrangement had little baby clothespins that people could attach money for us to buy cloth diapers. I re-vamped them for the nursery too.

You know what is awesome about a shower with a lot of Family an Consumer Science Teachers? 

They sew. 

A lot.

This was the FIRST present I opened…she MADE him a  newsboy cap!

Yes, Eli has a burp cloth to match his bibs.

 I wish you could see the stitching on these. They are highlighted with little white stitching.

These were only half the presents from ONE person. 

The SPED department even got in on the craftiness with this mustache themed Cash Cake (and baby sock cupcakes).
So.
Cute.

We went to our last 2 baby classes:

Natural Childbirth Part 2: Which should have more accurately been named "How to not be an idiot when you get home with a baby that's less than a day old" Yes, we go home pretty quickly after the birth. This freaks some people out- but honestly, I want to be in MY house, with MY bed, without people popping in on me every 45 minutes to sign something or get some vitals or whatever else they might want from me.

Don't be freaked out…they'll COME TO ME about 24 hours later (to double check our latch from our initial consultation, check baby, check me, etc) and then 3-5 days later. I'll also have a visit from my doula in there. So- I'm good.

and

"The use of water in childbirth" class: Which could have also been named "Water is awesome, did you know water is awesome? Don't get crazy in labor and be safe and you'll get to see how awesome it is"

*Best part of this class: when the instructor said at one point, "Daddies- we do ask that if you plan to be in the tub with your wife, you bring a swimsuit" Followed by a look of "I really shouldn't have to say this, but you just never know"

**Second best part of class: The moment in the video where a dad was sitting across the tub (DIRECTLY across) from the mom- her legs intertwined with his (staring at the money spot and smiling) and Rico and I both looked at each other immediately with a "oh HECK no!" look.

That one scene made me spend a good 15 minutes trying to find a way to write "Please don't have my husband staring at my business" in our birth plan. I gave up.

We DID finish our birthing plan. If you know me (or have read this blog), you know I am not a "short and simple" kind of gal, so this was difficult.

We went shopping at baby consignment stores for a few hours. 

We got some SWEET deals on things we needed. 

We ended up at one that was awful. The WORST part?

They didn't have a public restroom.

Oh, they had a restroom.

I saw it.

Right there.

Taunting me.

"Employee's ONLY"

Really?

Really?!

At a store frequented by pregnant women and people with potty training kids?

This is your plan?

So I told Rico, "sorry we just ate 2 hours ago, but you are going to need to buy some BBQ at this place next door, because I have GOT to GO."

It was actually really tasty, and super BBQ trashy.

Proof:

Since we were in the area, we went ahead and stopped by our Doula's house and gave her the rest of her fee. Every time I leave her I think, "Oh goodness, I really enjoy her".

I would say this is one of the most frequently asked questions I get about our labor choices- "What exactly does a doula do?" I wrote an entirely different blog post yesterday to answer that.

I also cooked this weekend.

SO. MUCH. COOKING.

In our freezer we've now got chicken/veggie soup, omelet muffins to last us 2 weeks, 2 meals worth of blueberry protein pancakes, and 2 meals worth of red beans and rice, and black bean and ham quinoa. I also pre-made some oatmeal packs (just throwing in some cinnamon and raisins to some plain oats). I still have more I want to do- but I got tired.

I re-packed my birthing bag. For approximately the 4th time. I also added some to Rico's (like eyedrops…he tend to get red eyes VERY easily, and calogn…because I like him to smell nice if I am going to be leaning all over him!)

I did my homework from my students teacher. She had set up a meal train (where people sign up online to deliver you food so your food deliveries are perfectly spaced out) for us, and she needed me to send it to people. So, basically I sent emails to people begging them to cook me dinner. I only felt mildly guilty- mainly because I was still tired from cooking all day.

Rico washed 2 car seats and installed the bases. His car seat kicks mine's butt. Dang it. Also: reason #256 Rico hates my car. My passenger seat has to be SO far forward to fit the car seat that no one can comfortably sit.
That sucks.

Rico got my push present ready- and we also updated the birthing playlist. 

So, how do you know you are nesting?
Well, when you get more done in a weekend then you did the entire week of spring break.

What's a Doula?

I feel like I should be saying, "Nothin' what's a doula with you?" but really, this is one of the most asked questions we get about our birth choices…and one that we really struggled with for a while ourselves.

Here's OUR vision (obviously you choose someone who matches what you want) 

Our doula is there to support me- by supporting Rico. 

She knows labor in and out. She knows what positions help, she knows what relaxation techniques will help, and what things I need to do even though I may not want to. She's focused on me while the midwife and nurses focus a little more on health and safety. She remembers all those little things like to make sure I eat and go to the bathroom so they don't turn into bigger problems down the road (like- oh, she got dehydrated and now needs an iv) 

She assists the midwives and nurses by relaying their messages to me. Almost like a translator. This sounds silly, but apparently I'm going to get very, oh here's that word everyone keeps using, "primal", and that may keep me from being my normal "I follow all directions to a tee the first time you ask" self. She once described herself as a parrot for the midwives. Another tool to help them to get me to do what I need to do to get Eli here safely. 

She documents moments so we can remember our birth experience after all the hormones kick in and start erasing those little details that could so easily be forgotten.

Most importantly, in my eyes, she is the person whispering in Rico's ear what to do to help me. She is the person reminding him of all the things he learned in Bradley class. When Rico has to be my brain and voice because mine aren't working, she is HIS. She lets HIM be the hero. She allows HIM to balance the role of labor coach and loving partner without getting too lost in either one. 

A few things she said in our initial interview that let me know she was "the one" (picking a doula really is like dating): 

#1"I know I've done my job if the mom says "You know, I really don't think we needed her" and the dad gets a look of panic on his face and thinks, "Oh, you have no idea how much we did!"

#2 "He may be so physically drained (from massaging, providing counter pressure, being your squatting bar, etc) that he needs me to take over, OR you may just like the way I do something better, OR you may just want to hear a female voice or hear from someone that's been there. But, most likely, you don't want to see MY face and hear MY voice. You want to see RICO'S face and hear HIS voice because it is the face and voice that you trust your whole life to. You'll want HIM to be the one holding you up. You'll want HIM. I am just there to help him to remember how to best help you"

#3 When we were honest about our initial thinking, "Do we really need a doula?" she reminded of us of a very important factor we had yet to consider: 

"You love this woman more than anything else on earth. "

(she paused here so he could really focus in on the enormity of his love) 

"But, you've never seen her this vulnerable. You've never seen her in this kind of pain." 

She went on in her own words to explain:  it isn't just HER brain that is going to over-ride the logical, yours will too. You can study and know cognitively what to do. 

If someone were to write it down in a story problem, you could give the correct response as to what plan of action should follow. The problem is that when you see the person you love the most in the world in pain, you just want to make it go away. 

Your logic stops working as well.  

She's had a lot of other gems too, but those were three that stood out to me.  

That ANNNNND it doesn't hurt that she got super excited about fun labor facts like I do. 

ANNNNNNND she happens to remind us of our friend Maggie. 

ANNNND she loves God.

ANND she is SO normal. She would be someone I would want to hang out with. She's approachable granola. 

AND she cloth diapers, so we get to ask her lots of those annoying questions too.

But, what's a doula? 

She's an undercover birth hero. 

Maternity Photos!

Let me start by saying that even RICO's first statement after our shoot was, "Well that wasn't bad at ALL- it was actually fun! Katie is awesome!" 

I agree. Good times.

Then photos came on the CUTEST flash drive there ever was in the mail 2 days later. 

2 days people. 

As in Thursday night we were taking photos, and Saturday we got to have them.

We waited over a year for our wedding photos to be edited. 

I was expecting at least a few weeks.

We didn't even check the mail on Saturday until about 9 pm, when we decided to go get 1/2 price appetisers at Applebees because we had been boring all night. 

After the photos were over (on a BEAUTIFUL 70 degree weather day), we looked at each other and both agreed that we have a very talented friend in Katie. 

AND giving- what an amazing baby shower gift. 

AND funny…she made us smile a lot. Like, just being her.

We even started the photos off with a bang. Literally. There were people banging in the park.

That's the official and most mature way I can describe what they were doing. 

Banging.

 I'm pretty sure I saw it first, but the wave of realization quickly came over all of us.

Did we back away? Heck No! 

Did we giggle? Heck Yes!

Did we make lots of jokes? You better believe it. 

When I started looking through photos- did THIS one make me laugh out loud….why yes, yes it did.

It's like Where's Waldo- can you spot the publicly mating couple?!

I had originally planned to pick a few favorite photos to share on my blog with everyone. 

Here's the problem: I couldn't whittle it down to any less than 75…and that's a bit excessive-UNLESS…

I were to make a video! 

Yes, certainly this was the best use of my last afternoon of Spring Break. 

So- here they are! Obviously some of the quality got lost in changing it into a video, then changing that video into something youtube could handle- but you still get the idea.

Seriously, you should all go ahead and book Katie right now. 

Joyfulbeginningskc.com    

AND she does birth photography 

AND Placenta services

obviously- I am obsessed with everything she does. 

Random Updates

1- Breast pump came to our house. I opened it, got confused, and packed it in the closet. In the back. I'll figure that out some day later. Hopefully much, much later.

2- My hips are normal again. I would have NEVER believed it if it wasn't happening to me- but 2 adjustments and I am feeling GOOD

3- I had lunch with 2 friends at Dean and Deluca (yes, I had an $18 lunch…I couldn't stop buying food). Afterwards, I went to finally get to see my friend's work. She works in a church for student ministries (I know- she's so cool). She took me in to see the youth center where they have youth group. Holy. Cow. 

First of all, you walk in and just past the pods of computers set-up cafe style there is a looooong wall. 

A normal wall- no, a rock wall. Why wouldn't there be, really. 

Obviously, I needed to test out my new hips/pelvis and hang on it

I promise, my belly is much larger than this. Oddly the horizontal stripes seemed to have (for the first time in the lives of horizontal stripes) actually concealed the bump.

Then she took me upstairs. I took this picture to make Rico jealous of her job. Yes, those screens on the wall are each Ps4's and such. 

I think it worked. 

We also got to see the worship area and stand on stage. I told Eli that he wasn't allowed to play the drums, even though I really, really, really like them. I just don't like them enough to have someone learn how to play them in my house. No thanks. He IS, however, allowed to play the box. Jess and I both decided that this is instrument makes any and all songs awesome. Apparently it is called a Cajon.

I call it heaven.

I fell in love with it at a JJ Heller concert. 

4- So, our baby is the size of a watermelon. I took this picture to prove it to Rico.

 I feel like that escalated quickly. I literally feel like last week they were saying some sort of squash or a head of cabbage or some other not-nearly-as-giant piece of produce.

The question is- where do we go from here. I've still got about a month left!

5- I got to go to the sporting game! Sad news for Rico (he really wanted to go with his brother) but GREAT news for Eli and I. 

I may have cried (it is most likely our last time getting box seats since Rico will be leaving the company- and they took a picture of all the people in his department to commemorate it. I just lost it. (quietly, and in my seat without anyone seeing…but lost it none the less). He just loves these people and this job so much- that it's hard to think that he has to say goodbye. 

6- We got kicked out of our house for a showing and an open house (one of which showed up 45 minutes early as we were "sharking" (steam mop) the wood floors.) Oops. 

Anyway, we spent the day looking for those odds and ends that we still need for Eli- Rico and Alli style- at consignment shops and thrift stores. 

We did VERY well.

We are still on the hunt for a big mug with a flexible straw for labor. Flexible straws are so "out" now that you can't find one to save your life (and I am trying to avoid having to look at a quicktrip mug during my labor. 

I feel like that would piss me off. 

Sorry for the strong language, but I feel oddly passionate about this. 

A few things we've gotten:

I actually found this Jeep "running stroller" for $20 on an online garage sale website. I went there, and she decided to just GIVE it to me. Rico said it's a good thing, because it doesn't fold up very small and the hood has some issues- but the thing has a speaker so I can hook up my phone to it and play music. I mean, come on! We'll see how it goes. If it is like any other Jeep we own- it won't go well. It won't go well at all.

Some random things we needed, but were sure as heck happy to find at about half the price: the bottle "grass pad" drying rack, a nursing tank and nursing bra (still in packages…there are some things I won't buy used- but we actually found them still in sealed packages at the thrift store!).

Neutral crib sheets (he only has 1 set now…which clearly won't work as soon as he leaks out onto those).

A newborn insert to go into his car seat to help hold his little head from bouncing to and fro. I actually had a dream the night before about needing that. 

After this trip, Rico said, "Whoever told us that you only need 3 things for a new baby was full of it*"

Ok, he didn't say "it"

And then we bought what Eli REALLY needs- MORE CLOTHES! 

(Just kidding, that is the last thing in the world he needs- but there was a 10 for $10 sale!)

Can you guess which 5 I picked out and which 5 Rico did?

Did you pick the second picture?

 I hope so. Rico loves a few things in life:

1- sports

2- the color orange

3- nostalgic things from his childhood (aka: ninja turtles, batman, etc)

The most shocking of these purchases? Cookie monster. Normally I am STRONGLY anti-character.

The problem is, the second we saw it we both INSTANTLY grumbled "coooo-kies" in the middle of the store.

It had to be done. 

6- I showed Eli the sun. That's right, it hit 68 degrees on Friday. So I did what any normal Midwest girl would do after MONTHS of horrible winter. I slapped on a bikini and went sunbathing on the back porch. 

SEE, I TOLD you that my belly was bigger than it looked in that striped dress!

Eli enjoyed the sun…isn't it weird to think that he'd never gotten to "see it" (verdict is still out on HOW MUCH he can see the light through my belly, but most people agree that there is SOMETHING different in what he sees when exposed to direct light)

With all those layers I slap on during winter (first the maternity pants that cover him, then the undershirt I have an un-natural NEED to wear, then a shirt, and finally a coat) there was NO WAY he had seen light before now. 

I think he liked it. 

If nothing else- it CERTAINLY woke him him up. 

7- This may seem trivial- but it is not: I can still paint my toes.

Even french tips.

I had prepared Rico early on that eventually I would need him to learn to paint my toes. And, because he is high maintenence by being low maintenance, that means more than just slapping a color on them. No, Rico HATES colored finger or toe nail polish. 

Specifically red. 

He literally won't let my feet touch him if I have it on. 

So, I told him that his options were:

1- pay $30 every other week for me to get a pedicure (which I don't really enjoy- I feel guilty the whole time)

2- He could paint my toes and I would teach him how to do the french tips.

Apparently option 3 was that I would just find a way. 

They aren't perfect- but they are still pretty dang good if I do say so myself! 

Even if they weren't- I can't see my feet when I'm standing anyway. 

Spring "break"

Let me put this in context first. Yes, I REALIZE that having all these things happen over break rather than on a normal work week is actually a good thing... But it's not feeling so great at the moment. Also, I tried to balance a happy spring break thing for every less-happy thing

1- (good news) We had our 35 week appointment. Eli is doing well, still head down. My bp is good too. I got to give myself the strep b swab- so that was substantially less awkward than predicted. I also overheard a lady making her next monthly appointment on Eli's due date. Less than a month now- whaaaaat?!

2- after the appointment I was still super sore (the hips/pelvis and now the back too), and I couldn't do much except lay. No buying groceries, no making dinner. Just laying. So much for productivity.

3-  I made a LOT of appointments. From fun ones (maternity photos on Thursday with Joyful Beginnings) to less fun ones (the dog needs his shots) to ones I didn't even plan on making.... That's right- I've gone full blown hippie. I have now seen a chiropractor.

AND I'm doing it again.

And again.

1 session and I felt much better (I still hurt, but there is hope- AND it is bearable) now to get back to almost normal and maybe even get my joints nice and stretchy for labor.

25% of what she did felt amazing. 25% was surprising- but didn't hurt. 25% hurt (but she warned me it would), 10% tickled, and 15% is just my lack of thinking through my addition- but I am writing on my phone and don't feel like going back to fix it.

I really walked in planning on making an appointment but they got me in right away and I walked out... Well, actually walking.

The downside: my insurance card didn't work AGAIN. It was supposed to be so easy!

4- my car window broke. Yes, again. I planned on procrastinating fixing it, but then I went to go to work today (with Max, because our real estate agent was hosting a luncheon at our house, so I was given the boot). As I went to shut the door behind the dog- it stopped short. Yep- the DOOR broke too. Now I HAD to get it fixed because it was keeping my interior lights on and would otherwise drain my battery.

So Max and I made the trip to the dealership. I should have had someone take a picture. A lady who looks like she has a beach ball stuffed under her shirt and can't walk/bend (this was before the chiro), with 3 bags of stuff for school, a dog doing anxiety circles in front of her. with dirty hair and a wrinkly shirt. In the service center. Standing. Homeless. Carless. Like a schmuck.

5- great news: they not only fixed it for free (because it had been less than a year since we had gotten the exact same thing fixed)- they ALSO fixed my front window that at one point they had told is was going to be $700. No more opening the door at toll booths for us- we're living the fancy life now! (Although I am pretty sure Rico will still do it because he is convinced it's just going to break if we use it- which all evidence points to)

6- high on this extra bonus window- we drove out of the lot.... When RICO's check engine light came on. Jeep- you're letting us down. (Which is ironic, because I am about to go buy a used jeep running stroller. Some people never learn... But for $20- I'll risk it.

7- I got a lot of work done at work, unfortunately, I also ended up adding so much to my to-do list that I actually feel just as behind as before I spent 8 hours at work on spring break. Huh.

at least I had Max to keep me entertained.

8- I took care of exchanges and returns for duplicate gift items at not 1- but 2 stores. Then I made the mistake of making a list of all the things Eli still needs before he gets here. You know, like more than just the 1 crib sheet he has now, or a boppy cover, or ANY bottles/nipples (I figure I've got some time before he needs those anyway), or disposable diapers for the first few weeks (I just can't bring myself to buy them- I spent so much time learning about cloth that disposables seem overwhelming. How can there be THAT many options? I need a cut out for his cord? Really? And what is this nonsense about sizes?! Come on.) Maybe I'll drop some hints with Rico's co-workers tonight and they will stock him up on what we need- because I'm clueless. I still need to: find a pediatrician, find a photo album for the quote card (side note- guess what is nearly extinct in this day of digital photos. Photo albums. Remember when there were aisles of them- cheap? Now when you DO find them- they are too expensive!), and buy some depends. Oh, that's right, I went there. I'm not at a hospital, so no mesh undies for me. Rather than ruining the perfectly cute new "mom" underwear my mom is bringing me instead of flowers at the delivery (isn't she awesome? Flowers die- cute underwear are a gift that keeps giving for years), I plan to just rock out some adult diapers for a day or two. Don't be jealous.

9- I went to pick up my breast pump- 

The one I tried to get taken care of in December (but they acted like I was crazy and told me no because it was too far ahead). 

The one that I wrote down the FIRST day she told me I could get it, and I called ON THAT DAY to make an appointment to get it (and they acted like I was crazy because "we aren't THAT formal!"). 

The one where I told her that I would be out of town that weekend (and since they close before any humans could possibly get to them after work, I wouldn't be able to pick it up until Monday of Spring break). 

The one where I drove out to the middle of nowhere just to pull up to see a sign on the ground inside that said they had moved down the strip mall (mind you, this was when I was still in a lot of pain, and I was just proud of myself for getting OUT of the car, now I had to get back in and do it all over). 

You know, the one where I walked in and there was no one there and even the person I heard in the back room didn't come out? 

Yes, the one where when the lady did arrive she disappeared for a few minutes only to re-appear and inform me that THEY WERE OUT OF BREAST PUMPS. 

You know, the MEDICAL SUPPLY company that was out of medical supplies. 

She asked how far I'd driven. When I told her (and I presume when she saw that I was about to cry), she said they'd ship it to me. I should have asked a lot more questions, but I didn't. I just made sure she had my address, gave her my only copy of my Rx (in retrospect- not my best plan), and left. 

10- I still GET to have lunch with some friends on Friday. Outside of school! In the real world. That will be sooo good. Like, so, so good.

So, basically my spring break is filled with checking things off my to-do list- and adding on things I never planned for. It's spending money where I didn't plan. It's stressing to make appointments and get things done. It's a microcosm of life. So much for an ocean side babymoon with my toes in the sand. Hello reality.

The Crazy Spiral

Something you should NOT do when your hips hurt: go on a long walk around the lake.

But, our house was being shown to 2 different groups and we promised Maximus the dog park- until we got there and saw the mayhem. 

No way dude, you'll have to settle for a boring walk by the lake because SOMEONE is getting eaten at that dog park with the massive over crowding and we are NOT letting that dog be you.

Here's the thing. Getting STARTED doing anything hurts like mother…(have I mentioned that little Eli has turned his mom into a potty mouthed sailor- pretty fitting with the shirt and all) BUT once I am going it feels great. 

Well, it was very clear that night WHY we should have stopped. 

Ah hem, "Why RICO WAS RIGHT and we should have stopped"

We went to a movie for the first time in months. (Rico really wanted to see the new 300 movie for his birthday- and we had free passes at our favorite movie theatre- where all the seats are recliners so I can go comfortably). You should have seen me trying to get in and out of those chairs. 

I mean it HURT.

I made some really bad faces- like faces that people could have thought, "This girl is in labor"

I also made some noises. Mostly grunting. My doula and birthing instructors would be proud- no high pitched noises- nice low growling grunts! 

but I can imagine it was pretty entertaining to watch if you weren't me (or Rico, who had progressed from shaking his head at my soreness to being genuinely concerned that something might be seriously wrong)

Sidenote: For all mothers (both birth and in-law varieties) reading this: I have an appointment with the midwives in a few hours and Rico has already assured me that we WILL be asking them about this, so you can exhale now and continue reading without worry for my health.

The bad news- we accidentally showed up for the 3-d movie. We're kind of over the 3d thing- especially with the price, so we decided to kill time until the non-3d showing. 

I had a gift card for TjMaxx, so I thought we might go see if we could find things we need for the baby. 

Things this baby will never be short on

cute blankets

clothing

love (had to do it, sorry)

We DID find some sun shades for Rico's car, but then Rico found a book he wanted (for Eli). He LOVES Eric Carl- he met him when he was little and is obsessed, so anytime he sees something by Eric Carl he has to pick it up. It was a cool book about opposites (not really developmentally appropriate for a while- but it had flaps Rico was really enjoying).  We looked at the price and that's when I started spiraling down.

The thought spiral:

I like this book.

Awww, Rico likes this book!

He should have this book because Rico will be excited to read it to him and Rico hates to read.

We need to read to him a lot.

Should I already be reading to him?

Oh no, is he already behind?

He is going to need a LOT of books.

Oh no, we don't have enough books (this is not ACTUAL reality, as he does have about 15 books already in his nursery- but it felt real at the time)

Me: "How much is the book?"

Rico: "Too much"

What does that mean, like $8? $8 a book times 25 books, but then he'll destroy some, so….

Oh no, we aren't going to be able to afford to give him all the books he needs. 

He's going to be lacking books!

He's going to be behind in cognitive and language development!

No, I can't let that happen- we'll just have to be poor because we'll spend all our money on books. 

Then I felt the crazy bubbling up out of just my mind and starting to spew out into the real world. 

"Oh no!" (*note- things NOT to say out loud to your husband without context, when you're only about a month from your dues date, on a day that you've been walking around like a 90 year old person and he is already super worried about you) 

"He's not going to have enough books!"

and then my husband had one of those moments where I just have to stop and kiss him and I think, "THIS is why I married you." 

He didn't miss a beat from my crazy, and you could tell he knew I had already had the mental spiral. He just looked me straight in the eye and said "Alli, he will have books"

Me: "HOW DO YOU KNOW?!"

Rico: " Because you are his mom"

Me: "BUT WE CAN'T AFFORD ALL THE BOOKS I WANT TO BUY HIM!" 

and then he SEALED the deal. I said it on his birthday, but I really mean it. I think Rico is all of my favorite things in all my favorite amounts. One of the things he is in JUST the right amount is logical when I am crazy. In 7 words he took me from crazy downward spiral to SUPER excited.

"Winter is almost over: garage sales, baby!"

GARAGE SALES! 

yes.

Crazy downward mental spiral ended.  

We then started a 10 minute discussion about how we had finally reached the time in life that we idealized EVERY time we went garage saling, "Dang, once we have kids we are going to TEAR SOME GARAGE SALES UP!" 

Our time has come. Watch out people with used stuff…we're coming for you.

And, because I love my dog, I had to share this little gem. In order to actually see his face, I had to take this picture from almost completely on top of me. If you were to look at my profile, you would have only been able to see the tip of little Max's nose. (apparently I can now hide more than a bowling ball behind my belly- I can hide our dog!) 

The poor guy's chin had to be almost completely vertical to lay there….but apparently it was still worth it for him- even with all the kicks and jabs going on under him.

Maybe that's why God surrounded me with so many boys. Between Rico, Max, and Eli I am bound to have a nice balance to my super-hormones that send me on irrational downward spirals in the middle of stores. Thanks boys.

Now, off to our 35 week appointment. Group B strep test (the LAST test standing between me and a needle free labor), checking to make sure Eli is still head down, getting my maternity leave paperwork filled out by the midwives, picking up my breast pump (after they write me a Rx), and picking up almond butter at Trader Joes. One of these things is not like the other…but oddly feels almost as important. 

Suck It Hips.

I finally found something I REALLY don't like about pregnancy.
There are things  that COULD annoy me, but I just find  most of them entertaining-like the contortionist moves it takes for me to put on shoes or shave.
 Seriously, nothing worth complaining about so much as commenting on. (Even the peeing constantly and illusive sleep)

WELL- I would like to OFFICIALLY register my first pregnancy complaint.
My. Hips. Are. Sore.
They've apparently decided to spread ALL at once. As in, this entire week.
I haven't felt sore like this since I used to work with a trainer- and even then, he would balance my workouts so it would never last more than a day and we spent a lot of time stretching my hip flexors. (Except that one time I decided to go run  around the lake in bad shoes and stop to do yoga on every dock for about a week without checking with him first. He basically had to (very nicely) tell me that I was being an idiot and that you shouldn't do that if you don't plan on hurting yourself....oops))

To add insult to injury- I didn't even recognize that this was pregnancy related.
Me: "my hip flexors have been really sore, for a couple of days now. I wonder if I am walking wrong or doing my squats wrong"
Rico: "I bet your hips are spreading"
Me;  (with a dumbfounded look) "oh my gosh hunny, you are so smart!"

Apparently the student has now become the teacher.
 Duh.
How did I not think of that?!
 I spend all day thinking about pregnancy and I don't even think to blame this on it?

It's now to the point that rolling over in bed is even difficult. Putting on pants is no longer a challenge because of balance- it actually hurts too! And don't even get me started on sitting  in a chair through a n 8 hour birthing class. (And I thought I was doing so well because I kept tailor sitting on the floor instead. Ha. )

I'm taking up the entire bed as I lay here writing this because the only thing that feels good is laying in a butterfly stretch.  Poor Rico. Now, not only do I have pregnancy snoring, but I also take up 3/4 of the bed with my legs and knees literally taking up as much space as humanly possible.

I know what I SHOULD be thinking: "my body is opening up for Eli"  (which, if you'll allow me a teacher moment for a second- is one of those reasons that OUR BODIES ARE SO COOL!"
I know I SHOULD be visualizing a flower opening  (preferably with the sound of a lute playing in the background)
I know it is actually something I should be VERY glad is happening- but, for some reason this seems to be the one thing that I can't just appreciate as a sign of a healthy, normal pregnancy that is getting me ready for a healthy, normal birth.
Instead, All I can think is, "suck it hips... Suck it"

Rico's Birthday

Things Rico did on his birthday:

Went to work all day.

Got taken to his birthday lunch…at Wendy's.

Ate cereal for dinner…because his wife was at conferences all night.

Vacuumed, dusted, and cleaned every room in the house to get it ready to go on the market. Again, by himself.

Had a piece of Oreo ice cream cake I managed to sneak into our freezer the night before once I FINALLY got home around 8. 

Got no presents- unless you count these- which I bought just so he'd have SOMETHING to make him smile. 

I know, I know. But he WON'T ask for anything and tells me not to get him anything!

Took a break long enough to watch a recorded New Girl before going back to cleaning (where my job was to get the nursery ready). Oddly it was pretty much the only room that was "show ready" last week- but then we brought home 1 million and 1 presents and it made us start back at square 1. As HE was running up and down the stairs hard-core cleaning…I may have distracted myself on this project: 

Eli's diapers WERE under the bed in a roll-out drawer, but it looked messy and I was pretty sure I wouldn't want to bend over every time I wanted a diaper. I saw this idea at the house of one of my old sorority sisters who was nice enough to give me a cloth diapering mini-lesson and sell me some of her old ones. 

Put me (and Eli) to bed by 9- and KEPT cleaning. 

But look how good the house looked in our real estate pics!

Now THAT was a lot of cleaning. MAN am i going to miss our house.

Don't worry, the day wasn't done. He ran upstairs after I called him to clean up my puke. Yes, I gave myself a bit of food poisoning after eating my greek yogurt/almond butter/honey fruit dip even though it had been out all day and Rico had warned me NOT to eat it.  This wasn't a small amount of puke- this was a LOT of puke. I mean, in a container, but still, a lot.

Then, on his Saturday- he went to yet ANOTHER birthing class I signed us up for. 

All day. 

Literally 9 am to almost 5. 

And…he knew it all. The good news is that Bradly class made Rico a birthing super-star! The bad news is that he had a hard time staying engaged. 

I write this for 2 reasons. 

#1- I want to remember how awesome my husband is and recognize and appreciate how many sacrifices he is making for us

#2- To make me feel better about my upcoming crappy spring break. While I make sub plans and my new snow-day adjusted blockouts for the rest of the year (yeah, when you are a teacher, you can't just go on maternity leave, you have to do your job ahead and then teach someone else how to do it while you are gone). I'll also be grading and entering grades. I'll also be setting up the electronic babies to go out. SO, basically, I'll live at work. 

Rico, the one who DOESN'T get a Spring Break gets to go golf, go get BBQ and beers with a buddy,  and go to a Sporting game in his company suite (with his brother- which he has been wanting to do EVERY time he gets tickets). 

I can't be mad. 

The man deserves it. 

I CAN, however, be jealous. 

So- here I am- green with envy.