New Home: The First Weekend

To buy our first house, we signed approximately 1,001 pieces of paper.

We closed on our new house Thursday…we signed 1 piece of paper. 

1.

We then immediately went to show it off to our families so Rico and his brother and cousin could start demo that afternoon. It looks a bit like this now:

A few hours (and a lot of sweat) earlier- this was a bedroom. The carpeted floor was all the way up where the white starts on the wall (above my knee)

I meant to capture what a mess the living room was, instead I may have captured what an unsafe mom I am

Opening up the kitchen- step 1

GOODBYE excessive cabinetry and nasty floor

They ripped down so much stuff, that when Rico's parents brought dinner, we had to have it tailgate style outside the house.

I am not really able to be a part of much of this, since I am Eli's beck-and-call girl.
I COULD leave bottles and have babysitters watch, but at this point it is of more use for me to save any pumped milk for when I return to work part time.
BUT, I did find a way to put my stamp on this process.
I made treats for the neighbors…

This is the pinterest recipe I used- but in this case it turned out looking exactly the same (a pinterest rarity)

complete with a cheesy poem introducing us to them.
Rico thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever and almost refused to let me give it out.

It makes you wonder, how bad could it be?
I'll let you be the judge:

Here’s a sweet treat from your new neighbor’s the Browns.

We hope you’ll be happy to have us around.

Like this messy dessert, construction looks scary

We’ll try to be fast, so don’t be too wary

We have lots to change, from windows to tile

Our hope is to keep it from lasting a while.

There’s lots to demo, from the ceilings to floor

If you have a concern, please knock at our door.

Good neighbors pick up and don’t make a racket

Empathy’s important, we don’t want to lack it.

Please bear with us in kindness as we hammer and saw

We hope in the end you’ll look at the progress with awe.

I know, I know, you are jealous that you didn't think of it huh?

But, in all seriousness, I needed a way to let them all know that there was an end in sight so they might have a little more patience with us.
If I've learned anything from moving home and spending more time with my parents, it is that retired people love NOTHING more than peeking out their window and dwelling on whatever it is they see.
Not just dwelling on it, but making the worst assumptions possible and convincing themselves that something utterly illogical is, in fact, not only LOGICAL, but also certain reality:

"Is that a blue car across the street?
I've never seen that blue car there before.
Have you ever seen that car there before?
 ("sneaks" over to front door to "peek" at blue car)

*10 minute back and forth verbally describing the type of car and each and every location they may have ever seen that car before and each and every person it might POSSIBLY be based on the limited information known about the neighbor and drawing on what can only seem to be the most illogical predictions ever
"I think they're doing a drug trade, they were only here for 9 minutes and 37 seconds and the woman was wearing a ponytail (obviously indicating that she was in a hurry because she needed her next fix) and wore a shirt with a dog on it (obviously indicating that she bought it at goodwill becasue she spent all her money on drugs)"

It's like they think they live in a soap opera.
One where everyone is up to no good.
One that through a long series of tiny assumptions and over generalizations that all SEEM very logical, you end up with a neighbor that calls the cops on you.

Hopefully my note helps to avoid this- or at least prolong the inevitability of it by getting them on our side.

The best offense is a strong defence.