Eli's Birth Story: Tub Time

I was finally getting to see if "nature's epidural" (the tub) was all it was cracked up to be.

It was.

And more.

At one point I remember saying that I wondered how people did without.

(Please know, we prepared for the tub. We even took the class that New Birth Company requires you to use if you plan to use the tub. Like ANYTHING there are pros and cons to the tub and it comes with responsiblities. For example- I would not be allowed to labor in the tub if I lost control during labor, or if it became dangerous at any point.)

These HAVE to be some of my favorites of the birth photos from http://www.joyfulbeginningskc.com

I swear I can FEEL the water when I look at them.

When people found out I was having a natural labor, they LOVED to ask if I would be birthing in the tub. We put in our birth plan that we were not attached to the idea either way. I didn't feel like I HAD to deliver in the tub, in fact, I told many students who asked that I imagined (since I was guessing I would have a big baby) that I would be more likley to deliver on all 4's.

Lucky guess Brown, lucky guess.

I don't know what you know about labor, but "transition" is, for many women, the most painful part of labor. It's when you dilate from 8-10. In Bradley class we learn all about how to recognize transition and work WITH it. We knew it was coming when I started vomiting (and, obviously, according to cervical checks). It's so funny when you puke and you have 3 women all around you saying- "Great job Alli, what a great sign!" I've never been so encouraged while barfing!

Now, I pride myself on being a good pucker. I am happy to report that the trend continued. When I felt it coming, I asked Rico to get me one of the little disposable barf bags they had in our bathroom. 

They looked like giant blue condoms. Yes, I referred to them as cow condoms during labor. 

 One of the other signs of transition: going into super-serious mode. 

I got in the tub around 9am.

My doula poured water over my belly during contractions. It sounds like it wouldn't make a big difference- but it felt SO good. 

SO, SO good.

Rico played with my hair and tickled me (ran his fingers over my skin- not tickle-me-elmo style)

JJ Heller played in the background.

I MAY have opened my eyes 4-5 times in all after getting in the water- if that. As long as I had Rico's hand- I was fine.  He told me later that I would let go in between contractions, where he could get circulation and stand up from his kneeling position. The doula would give him a silent hand wave to let him know when the next contraction was coming if he had to step away. 

I don't remember that AT ALL. 

In my memory he was there the entire time. 

He never moved. 

I only remember one moment of his hand not being there.

I felt a contraction coming and I started my "vocalizations" (read: low moaning). I reached out and I didn't feel him. 

I remember thinking that I NEEDED him- there was no way I would make it through a contraction without him. 

I heard Katie (I think) being the voice I couldn't be- "It's coming…(then a little louder) it's coming" so he knew to get back to me. 

Thanks friend!  

(for that, AND for capturing images like this…that water going onto my belly- Rico in full "game face". Of all the beautiful images we have of our labor- THESE are the ones that really sum it up for me. THIS is how I remember labor and I feel so blessed to have these images to remember them.)

Rico kept his voice calm and low.  

He made sure I drank water to stay hydrated.

He offered me honey sticks and snacks to keep me going.

He said very little…I wanted to hear very little.

He didn't ask me questions…because he knew I didn't have the ability to answer them.

 He reassured me with affirmations. 

 He reminded me to keep my vocalizations deep and to keep calm.

I remember Rebecca's voice from time to time reminding me to breathe down INTO the water, INTO the contraction. 

It's the craziest thing- we had heard from person after person that I would go into what Rebecca calls "Labor Land". Others called it a "primal" place- where your brain literally shifts into survival mode. You don't really "think"- you can't really communicate-you give up on modesty- and you let your body take over...

Well, your body and hopefully a really good husband and doula who still have the use of their whole brains.

At 10 ish I started feeling pressure. In her full brained wisdom, my doula suggested that I get out to pee  and get checked. 

I didn't want to leave the tub.  

I remembered her telling me at one of our previous meetings that this moment was going to come.

I wouldn't want to do it, but eventually she would wear me down- even if it took a few contractions. 

I think I may have given her a dirty look…but out I went.

You can't deliver a baby very well with a full bladder (her wisdom, not mine)

I got out and IMMEDIATELY had a contraction. 

Time to "labor dance"

I remember thinking, "Oh good, we hadn't gotten to try this position yet!"- certainly one of my more coherent thoughts. 

Mostly I just thought, "Breathe" "Stay calm, stay low"

Remember that I still have a 9 month pregnant belly at this point, so "labor dancing" could ALSO be described as "Awkward middle school dancing" 

but it kept me moving, 

it kept me connected to Rico

it kept me in a state of working with my contraction and not against it.

I remember Rico whispering to me, "The last time we danced like this I was asking you to be my girlfriend"

My husband doesn't say much, but when he does, he says JUST the right thing. 

This was one of those times. 

I was 8-9 cm and fully effaced as I went into a few more contractions "on dry land"

Back on the ball for another contraction before getting back in the water. 

I wanted in the water. 

I needed back in the water.

Rico massaged me and was my support while I did my circles and Rebecca applied counter pressure on my back. 

 I got back into the tub…without bottoms this time 

(I'm sure some of you were wondering how the heck THAT was going to work) 

and we all prepared for a possible water birth. 

At 11:30 I finally got the urge to push, my doula talked to my midwife who said that I could begin bearing down.

To be honest, I wasn't sure what the heck they meant by this.

Was this pushing? 

I had a lot to learn…and I was going to learn it fairly quickly because it was 

TIME TO START PUSHING.

I opened my eyes for the first time in over an hour and saw my "team" (again, I ONLY remember hearing Rico in the room, and from time to time I remember Rebecca)

My nurse, 

my doula (who, by the way sat on this TINY back ledge for so long that her cute little pregnant self lost feeling in both her legs), 

my friend, 

my midwife, 

and my husband. 

I am a lucky woman.

I think I was even able to communicate my feelings at this point (on a high from being told I was ready to push) and I said something like, "Oh, wow, when did you all get here?"

It was an actual question, although they all just smiled at me like I was being cute.

Seriously guys, I really felt like at least the nurse and midwife might have been actual ninjas because I literally had NO idea they were there.

They had this.

I had this. 

Let's push...