Prison Baby

Yes, today is my due date.

Yes, I am still childless.

NO- I am NOT counting down the days. (Apparently this is shocking to ALL people).

I want him to come when he is ready. So, I just inform people that 41 weeks and 1 day is actually a more accurate guestimate on a healthy due date. 

If nothing else, it buys me a week to prepare to bite my tongue when people start asking about induction. 

I DID decide that since we are done with all baby prep, we should do something I heard on someone's blog:  do something fun each day we go over the due date so we aren't at home twiddling our thumbs. 

Here's Rico response to my email:  

Well I can see you’re going to have an incredibly boring day. You should probably just go into labor now. So when you start something out that says “I heard a great idea” I don’t believe you. After reading your blog and how you have duped me with getting other people behind your ideas, I’m not going to trust you anymore. These ideas do sound pretty good though, so here are my thoughts. 

 

Clearly I love anything involving hanging out by the lake.   The weather does look nice, we’ll see how choppy the water is this weekend. I just wanted to use the word choppy. 

Max loves walks (and that can help induce labor) The weather does look nice, we’ll see how choppy the water is the weekend.

I heard there's paint ball in the caves! No.   No? Correct.

I've STILL never been to Doughnut King http://donutkingkc.com/   (it is way north- but what the heck else do we have to do? Maybe there is something else up north we could do?) This could be a pretty good idea except I don’t want to get up there and then be and hour away from the birth center/home. 

We could go to that place in brookside that sells cloth diapers This is a really good idea. I feel like it’s responsible and a good time waster. 

We could go to the zoo- that involves walking AND me getting to see animals- maybe even BABY animals. Nope, people get shot at the KC zoo.

We could go roller skating Nope.

We could go bowling Maybe.

We could go to h&m on the plaza- I heard they have a baby section! (and enjoy cheesecake on the plaza or happy hour at tomfooleries) Nope.

We could go see the freaking TIGERS on the way to Louisburg I’ll look into it. We don’t want to scare Eli. Fun fact – A tiger can eat over 100 pounds a night, because they go days between meals. 

We could go to Powell gardens (ONLY because I have never been, but let's be honest, it doesn't really excite me) Nope.

We could go see the King Tut exhibit at Union station- freaking KING TUT Nope.

We could go to the farmers market in downtown ls Yes

When I responded that I was SHOCKED he didn't pick up on the Tut one (we are suckers for mummies) I got THIS back

I do love Tut, but this will probably happen:

 You’re standing next to one of a thousand different things that no one’s allowed to touch, let’s say a mummy. Your water breaks. A tidal wave of prego fluids splash the perfectly preserved mummies face and it crumbles to pieces in front of our eyes. We run out of the museum as quickly as someone in labor can run. A security guard stops us. You pretend you’re falling to the ground right behind him with contractions, I push him over you. It’s the perfect set-up and he’s unconscious on the ground. We get in the car and drive to the birth center. Eli’s born. As you hold him for the first time, the police come and take him from you.  He’s charged with destroying a worldwide treasurer and sentenced to life in prison. They don’t have baby prison, so he’s placed in juvie.  He’s already shanked a kid by age four and has first tat at age six, “Prison Baby” across his back (That’s what they call him these days).  By the time he turns ten, he’s accepted Jesus Christ into his life and the warden believes he’s turned the corner. He lives out the rest of his days watching the Golden Girls every night at 5 and staring at the sunset through his prison window wishing things could have been different. At age 72 he passes. RIP Prison Baby.

This could happen if we went to the museum this weekend. I’m not ready to take that chance.

I love my husband.