I'm having THEIR Baby

We're (what feels like FINALLY) far enough along in the process that I can put it out there. I am getting ready to help an amazing family have their baby! 

April 14th…because there is no non-awkward way to be like, "Hey, can I grow your baby?"

Their pea, my pod.

Their bun, my oven.

I'm just the stork.

They planned the party, made the guest list (a tiny little embryo that I hear is quite the Grade A stunner), and I'm just providing the location.

*enough with the analogies already? ok, just one more

I'm like a nanny, but I don't have to change any diapers, the baby doesn't throw tantrums, and I feed him/her by eating something myself. Not a bad gig.

Ok, so it isn't all rainbows and unicorns. 

There will be morning sickness (I hear it will be substantially worse because of the drugs I'll be hopped up on). 

There will be aches

There will be stretch marks (although THIS time I know to basically buy out the belly butter/ cocoa butter section AND PUT IT ON MY HIPS. Lesson learned)

There will be mood swings (again, probably worse with the hormones)

There will be fatigue (it's a good thing I still regularly subscribe to the "sleep when the baby sleeps" mantra even though my "baby" is now a toddler)

There will be labor…not at New Birth Company, but (we hope, and as long as everything is running smoothly) with a midwife here. 

BUT, in the end, there will be a moment to make it all worth it. There will be the moment when this mommy and daddy meet their little one, and their little boy meets his little brother or sister. When this family of 3 becomes a family of 4. 

I could almost cry just thinking about it….and I'm not even on hormones yet!

My blog title, "I Get to Be the One" is taking on a VERY new meaning. What a privilege and an honor for a couple to say that they trust me to grow their baby. I can't even imagine how hard it would be to trust another person to do that. Not only are they entrusting me PHYSICALLY to grow the baby, but they are also entrusting that I can be a good teammate. 

That I will communicate. 

That I will share my feelings... even when they are hard. 

That I will be sensitive to, honor, and respect their feelings. 

That I will ask questions, and be ready to answer any they might have. 

That I will remember my role and not overstep unwritten boundaries

That we will all keep God at the center of this process. That we will listen to Him when he says "yes", and not push on any doors that He has closed (her wisdom, not mine…I TOLD you she was awesome)

That we let Him guide and direct us. 

That this baby will be prayed for early and often. 

That I can be flexible.

That I will be able to compromise and problem solve as a TEAM when choices need to be made that impact us all and there aren't clear solutions

And that's a lot. SO many things in life have been modeled for us, so we just kind of "knew" what to do and how we wanted to do it. Dating, weddings, having Eli…all of these things were things that we had seen done by others before us. We knew what to expect. We compromised and problem solved even when it was difficult- which any of those things were at certain points. Problem solving with 2 different people is hard enough- but imagine 4. 

4 people, with 4 different roles, 4 different life stories that have given them 4 different ways of viewing the world. 

The good news, is that even though we may be trying to pull off one of the biggest "group projects" any of us will ever be a part of- we all have the same goal. 

We all want this little embryo to turn into a little fetus, and that little fetus to turn into a little baby, and that little baby to meet the people who have put in SO much love and time to make sure THEY would get to be the ones. 

The ones to freak out over the first positive pregnancy test.

The ones who get to tell their little boy that he's going to be a big brother.

The ones to hold hands when they hear baby's first heartbeat. 

The ones who hold their breathes right before they find out if their baby is a little boy or a little girl.

The ones who will be putting together a nursery and buying tiny clothes to hang on tiny hangers.

The ones who will be counting down the days until the due date, probably sleeping less and less each night it gets closer.

The ones who will get to watch their baby be born and really be PRESENT for every moment in a unique way that is such a blessing. 

The ones who will be there smiling so much it hurts as they hold their baby for the first time. As they count those fingers and toes, the toes that will one day patter around their house. As they see the face that has been in hiding for 9 months, the face that they will watch grow older and older. As they hug and kiss their baby, the first kisses of a lifetime more to come. 

…and I get to be there for almost all of it. 

What an honor. 

I mean, really. 

These are some of the most intimate moments in a couples' lives- and they are entrusting ME to share in those moments with them. 

I feel the weight of that. 

People have asked me if this or that would be hard for me (mainly delivering a baby and not leaving with a baby), and I have to say, that doesn't worry me. It never has. That part has always just made sense to me. 

What worries me MOST, 

what fills my brain at 1 am, 

is being worthy of that honor. 

 I want this pregnancy, this whole experience, to be filled with joy. I want, more than anything else, for this family to look back and say, "That went better than we could have ever imagined" 

That the healthy, unique, beautiful little baby they created won't have to be the thing that makes trudging though this experience worth it, but instead is the natural outcome of the healthy, unique, beautiful journey it took that baby to get into their arms.

I'm going to try my hardest to document that journey here. I'll attempt to answer some of the common questions I get, and describe the process in general- because as the mom and I agree- it is FASCINATING (even to non pregnancy and labor junkies like me)

We'll work on a blog approved name for her too- because "the mom" sounds so sterile and boring, and she is neither of those things.  I also promise not to be as serious-face as I just was. I mean, I didn't intend to be so deep, but that's what came out. 

For now, a toast to this little secret being a little less secret.
(this is from our vacation, she jumped through hoops and language barriers to try and send us flowers and champagne to our room. She even got my parents in on it. I know, SO sweet.)