Can I Register for Someone to Register FOR Me?

Can I just say, for the record, that registering for a baby is VERY humbling. I’m an educated woman. I just got my master’s degree. In fact, most of my (undergraduate) education was based around child development. I have people come to ME for advice. 

Granted- they are teenagers- but they want MY advice.

And yet, registering for our baby made me feel like an absolute idiot.

As in, I almost cried. 

I almost cried each and every time.

I was overwhelmed to say the least.

I can't say I wasn't warned. EVERY other person I have ever talked to had prepared me that this was not "fun". 

Opening gifts, obviously, is fun. 

Trying to choose what to register for- NOT fun. This is especially true when you are 3 things I am 

#1- a "type a" perfectionist who wants to be super efficient and only pick the perfect things

#2- a person who is not good at making decisions. (It takes me about 15 minutes just to pick out candy for a movie)

#3- Mildly hippie. They just don't have some of the things I want in most stores. (ex: a cloth diaper sprayer attachment)

We made the mistake of starting at the biggest baby store we could think of- Buy Buy Baby. It's Bed Bath and Beyond's 100% baby store. You know BB&B, the one with 12 foot high displays filled all the way to the ceiling with more choices than any person could ever need. It's too much.

It took 3 hours.

3. 

Whole. 

Hours.

Rico kept looking at me to tell him which of the 1 zillion pacifiers to scan. Do we even want any? If so, which ones? 

Heck if I know.

He looked to me again as we got to the bottles. Which brand? Which style? How many do we get?

I shrugged.

Then we got to the “activity” section. Here’s the problem- there were 17 variations of places to put your child for those times you might not be holding them.

Some of them sang songs.

Some bounced.

Some let you rock the baby.

Some rocked the baby automatically.

Some vibrated.

Some swang.

Some swang in ALL directions.

NONE of them were in my arms- so as far as I could tell- they were ALL over priced and I felt guilty for scanning any of them, much less trying to guess which features our baby might care about. 

Another major issue- I don't want to use most of these things. 

I WANT to breastfeed and rarely pump

  ...but eventually I will go back to work part-time and will need to pump.

I WANT to not use pacifiers

   ...but I feel like EVERY new mom says that and eventually finds a healthy way to incorporate them.

I WANT to wear my baby and not have to use a lot of contraptions.

  ...but what about night time? What about when I am in the shower and Erik's at work? 

 I WANT to use cloth diapers

  ...but how do I register for those when the only store that does sell them (Buy Buy Baby) only sells the brand that you can't dry in the dryer? 

I think you get it. So, add this inner conflict to my feelings of overwhelming choices and you can start to get in my mind-set. Oh, all that AND the fact that there isn't even a Buy Buy Baby in Wichita- so I'm not sure anyone would ever even look at this registry or be able to buy these things.

Finally, toward the end of our trip, we got to the strollers and car seats. I couldn’t do it any more. I am a woman who usually feels very informed. I am used to being the person in the room who knows the most (as most teachers are.) I couldn’t handle this uncertainty and second guessing any more. 

I looked at Rico and just said, “I can’t.”

He hugged me and I mumbled into his hoodie, 

“Buy Buy Baby beat me." 

"It wins.” 

Thankfully- we found a batman super-hero onsie kit (WITH CAPE) before leaving. That managed to perk us both up. 

Then- I got smart. 

I called in the reinforcements- my sister. 

She took the time to go with me to Babies R Us while I was back in town. 

Cue the sounds of angels singing from heaven. 

She cuts the crap. She tells me what's up. 

Get this brand of breast milk storage bags- "They're bigger, you get twice as many, and they are half the price"

"Don't get those- they're stupid."

"Here's something I didn't figure out until 6 months in...your pump will work with almost ANY bottle- no need to buy the same brand as the pump"

"Don't get these here- they are way cheaper at Target"

"Some of my friends like this brand because ______, but others swear by this brand because ______"

You know- the stuff the box doesn't tell you. 

Confidence re-built! I could do Target- that would be easy! Only 4 aisles, limited choices, and the prices wouldn't make me feel guilty every time I scanned an item. 

I was right...and wrong. It certainly WASN'T overwhelming- in fact, it was underwhelming. 

1- They were out of nearly everything. Literally, whole sections of empty hangers. 

2- Of the things they actually HAD on the shelf, we couldn't scan them because they were ALL on clearance. 

You've never seen a brain so confused. A red sticker should make my heart sing- but they specifically told us (3 ACTUAL times) NOT to scan any clearance items. 

It was VERY frustrating.

3- If you are having a boy you might as well throw your hands up. (unless gray matches your nursery, in which case you'll be ok) . Everything either had monkeys/animals, some little label about being "mom's so and so" or "daddy's _____", or a sports reference. I'm not a fan of any of these things. Obviously, there are exceptions, but in general- bleh. I couldn't even find SOCKS that were simple.

Oh, and then the scanner died. 

So...I'm taking a break. I'll try again closer to an ACTUAL baby shower- maybe then there will be actual items we can scan. Maybe then I will be able to have a healthier attitude about this whole situation. 

Until then- this is how I feel about registering.